How to tell if your husband doesn’t love you anymore! 25 signs to look out for to know if your husband or boyfriend has fallen out of love with you.
Everybody, or rather, most people set out on married life with the hope of living together for a lifetime hence the ’till death do us part’ vow.
Sadly, not every marriage actually makes it through this lifetime, and for those that do, it is not without a few rough patches, compromises, and a copious amount of patience.
True love for a spouse makes marriage worth working on. It makes it exciting, beautiful, happy, and successful.
As time passes, married couples may develop unrealistic expectations, lose mutual respect, and stop putting in the effort needed to sustain the marriage.
Before they realize it, they are gradually falling out of love and losing interest in what brought them together in the first place.
Is the heart-wrenching thought that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore crossing your mind from time to time? Then there must be something about your marriage that triggers such thoughts.
You might not get the complete answer until you have had an honest conversation with him.
However, there are warning signs that can suggest that your husband’s feelings are not where they used to be anymore.
Together with tips on what to do, here are 25 signs that your husband doesn’t love you as he used to
The Signs that your Husband Isn’t in Love with you Anymore
The fact that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore can manifest in numerous signs. That said, anything that feels off in your marriage could also be a sign of something else not related to your hubby’s love for you.
Before deciding for sure that he doesn’t love you any more or confronting him about it, you want to be sure that you are not imagining things.
Any or a combination of the following signs can point you in the right direction.
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1. Complete Disinterest in your Life
If he loves you, everything in your life becomes his business, period! You should expect him to care about the well-being of your career, friends, and family members.
More is actually expected of him when he is your husband because your lives are now legally intertwined. I mean, he should be interested in what is going on in your life, small or big, interesting or boring.
If he has lost interest, then it is a big sign that you don’t hold the same place you did before in his life. Couldn’t your husband’s love for you be running out? It is possible.
2. He is Becoming Edgy Around you
Do you seem to rattle your husband more easily and often than before? Does he seem irritated by things that he didn’t mind or stuff he laughed at before?
He could be going through a stressful situation or he could be battling mixed emotions about you and the relationship. Research links annoyance to factors such as stress, anxiety, dissatisfaction, and underlying medical conditions.
If your husband treats everybody with edginess, it is a big sign that there’s more than meets the eye.
However, if anger and negative remarks are only directed at you, it could be an obvious sign your husband isn’t in love with you.
3. Diminished Sex Life
Sex is part of physical intimacy alongside other romantic gestures such as kisses, hugs, caresses, and holding hands.
It builds a closeness between spouses or romantic partners and is also a way for them to express love, affection, and desire.
While sex is not the only component or main variable for a strong marriage or true love, it certainly plays a big role in maintaining an intimate physical connection.
That said if your sex life has gone kaput or is becoming less passionate by the day, it is a bad sign.
Of course, there are many other common reasons why a man may not want sex, I’m just saying that among the obvious signs that your husband doesn’t love you as he used to, a sexless marriage should raise red flags.
4. He Is Nicer with Others than He is with you
Naturally, we are wired to favor or be nicer to people we love or like.
You and your husband should treat each other well in terms of how you talk, the comments you make about each other, your body language when you are together, and how you react to each other’s feelings and opinions.
When your husband changes over time and treats you with rudeness, indifference, hurtful things, and dismissal, yet he treats other people well, actions speak louder than words.
This is one of the most obvious signs that your husband’s love for you could be dwindling.
5. He has Developed Trust Issues
There is a strong correlation between love and trust. In fact, trust is often pitched as the foundation that love thrives on.
Mistrust is one of the early warning signs of waning love and a characteristic of unhealthy relationships.
You may spot mistrust when your husband starts questioning your loyalty and faithfulness whether his fears are founded or not.
Next, insecurity, resentment, and lack of intimacy crop in, and in due course, love takes a back seat.
6. Tapering Affection and Emotional Intimacy
What has been your husband’s language of love? Affection can be expressed in different ways including saying sweet little things, doing a few chores to ease a partner’s workload, sharing gifts, spending some quality time, going for date nights, or giving each other that special touch.
Affection helps to build your emotional connection and trigger all the positive emotions related to a relationship.
Not every man is expressive in all the above ways. If your husband is not the kind that buys you flowers and chocolate or kisses you in front of your family, it doesn’t mean that he loves you less.
However, if you are suspecting that your husband doesn’t love you anymore, and you have noticed changed behavior in how shows his affection for you, then you should take a second look.
7. He Avoids Spending Time with You
Who doesn’t want to spend as much time with the love of their life as possible? I do.
I bet there was a time that your hubby couldn’t have enough of you and would do anything, even rescheduling his activities to slot you in, right?
So, why is he spending more time away from home, making excuses to not be with you when he should be, making time for his best friend and other people, and engaging in more activities that don’t include you?
He could be going through a phase, dealing with an issue in your relationship, or it could be a prominent sign that his heart is not where it used to be.
8. The Quality of your Conversations has Gone Down
Conversations are essential in every kind of relationship. In marriage, they build love, solve conflicts, and help partners know and understand each other more.
They can also help to dispel doubts and guesswork, which in the long run builds mutual respect and trust.
Healthy conversations for a married couple can be anything in the scope of serious discussion about issues, banters about each other’s day, or reminiscences of your romantic experiences.
When a husband has stopped engaging in such conversations and dismisses your efforts at initiating them, he is clearly not interested in the health of the relationship. He could be acting out of spite rather than love.
9. He is No Longer Interested in your Feelings and Opinions
When your husband loves you, it doesn’t mean that he will agree with all your opinions, feelings, and thoughts.
On the contrary, when people love each other, they should be at ease to express varied points of view and feelings.
This is where validation features. Validating another person means you accept their sentiments as valid even when they disagree with yours. It is a good sign that you are in a truly loving and strong relationship.
The opposite is true; if he totally disregards your sentiments, it is definitely not a good sign.
10. He has Lost Interest in the Relationship
Marriage requires love, work, and commitment to succeed. It is an investment made up of all the effort required during the good times, the bad times, disagreements, reconciliations, compromises, and sacrifices.
The famous quote by the romance author Kate Stewart puts it precisely:
“The perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other”
The love that the two of you share is the driving force that makes marriage worth the work. When your husband doesn’t love you like before, he will not make much effort to work on the marriage.
He may even ignore issues, conversations, and decisions concerning the relationship.
11. He talks about you in Negative Light
Who bad mouths their spouse to others? My guess? Someone who likes to put you down every chance he gets or one who is fed up with the relationship.
He is likely trying to intimidate you, instill fear, or elicit a reaction he can use to oppress you further.
When a husband talks about you in a negative light, it is clear he has no regard for you as a person and as a partner. This is both an indication of a loveless marriage and one of the signs that he disrespects you.
12. It is more Difficult to Get Him to do Anything
Marriage is easier when partners can count on each other’s help doing certain things. Isn’t that the reason why two are considered better than one?
Except in instances when it is getting harder to get him to do anything for you or the marriage. When he repeatedly drags his feet, makes excuses, or blatantly refuses to do things you request of him, it is selfish and inconsiderate.
These traits hardly reflect a loving husband.
13. He has Locked you Out of His Life
Generally, men are less likely to act vulnerable or open up about their feelings and Professor Ronald Levant concurs.
This is, therefore, not always a clear sign that you are not in a healthy marriage. All you need in such instances is to employ strategies to get your hubby to open up.
The problem comes when a partner who was already opening up his life to you and was sharing his emotions, thoughts, plans, and ambitions suddenly locks you out of his life.
He may do this by giving you the silent treatment, turning down your efforts to support him, or even opening up to or seeking help from others instead of you.
14. He Repeatedly Turns Down your Efforts for Contact
Usual conversations aside, people in love always find a way to stay in contact whether it is through texting, phone calls, secret signals, special touches, strategic sticky notes, etc.
This is even more important when you are away from each other. A missed call once in a while or a late text reply might not exactly be signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore.
When the habit becomes more frequent though, and it is apparent that he is putting effort to avoid contact, he is revealing his true feelings which I dare say are far from true love.
15. He Constantly Finds Fault with You
When you are in a loving relationship, you understand, validate, and appreciate each other, regardless of your individual differences- as they say, love is blind.
On the other hand, there’s more to a husband who is completely focused on finding faults with you, criticizing your every move, and making you feel like you always have to do more to please him.
He is not only self-centered but might also be exhibiting key signs he is not in love with you anymore.
16. The Compliments no Longer Exist
Do you know that compliments make it easier to get along and work with people around us?
As psychotherapist and author, Naomi Berger emphasizes, compliments make us both feel good and likely to repeat the behavior that was rewarded.
Like how he complimented you every time you dolled up for date night or the way he couldn’t get enough of your confident walking style, your expressive eyes, or your beautiful skin.
I bet this always made you feel happier, appreciated, and loved. Then the compliments started dwindling to a point when he doesn’t seem to even notice anything about you. And you are probably wondering what you are doing differently.
Maybe it is not you; this could be one of the possible signs your husband is no longer into you.
17. He Drives a Wedge Between you and the Kids
Are you married with kids? Do you feel that your differences have spilled over to your kids, thanks to the effort that your husband is putting in?
A parent can drive a wedge between the kids and the other parent using damaging comments and false accusations. This is referred to as parental alienation.
Although this behavior is most common when a couple is facing an imminent divorce, it can also happen when a marriage is going through a rough patch.
When your husband falls into this habit he is subjecting both you and the kids to emotional abuse and he is certainly not acting out of love for you or them.
18. He Disregards Important Dates and Milestones in your Marriage
Milestones and significant dates for married couples can vary from one couple to another.
They can be as general as the wedding date, the date he proposed, the first kiss, the date you moved in together, or as unique as a special experience you had, a career achievement, or a day you shared a huge secret.
Whatever special dates you have, remembering and celebrating them gives you an opportunity to reconnect, reminisce over past experiences, and build on your emotional connection.
When they are no longer important to him, you too might have lost your place in his heart.
19. He doesn’t Talk about the Relationship in the Future
What does your husband say, if anything, about the relationship? Typically, people who are wholly invested in a relationship or marriage speak about it not only in a positive light but also in the future.
Partners in a marriage may talk about moving into a bigger house, getting kids, starting a business, taking a vacation and the list goes on…
If he stopped communicating his thoughts for the future of your marriage, maybe he just doesn’t see the two of you together in that future.
20. He Flirts with Other Women
Your husband flirting with other women can be emotionally hurtful and disrespectful especially if he persists even after you have expressed your displeasure.
The behavior can develop into emotional infidelity whereby your husband engages in a non-sexual relationship or emotional affair with another woman.
An emotional affair shows that your husband just replaced you as his emotional confidant and this can also be one of the many signs your husband doesn’t feel the same way he used to about you.
21. Conflict Resolution is Not the Same Anymore
Each couple has a way of dealing with conflict or healing the relationship after a fight. Some will take a breather and sort things out when they are calmer, others will dive into the heat of the argument and go at it until they find a solution, while others will treat each issue individually.
The most important thing and what you shouldn’t lose as a couple is successful conflict resolution. Key aspects of that include clear understanding, compromise, apology, forgiveness, and collaboration.
When your love life is wrecked though, conflict can easily move towards avoidance, guilt-tripping, silent treatment, or stonewalling.
22. There’s Tension Whenever the two of you Are Together
Have you realized that you hardly need conversation to feel comfortable around someone you are in love with?
It just feels right for the two of you to quietly sit through a movie, cuddle away on the couch, watch each other do stuff in the house, or just sleep in.
This is hardly the case when the love between the two of you is strained. If your husband has been throwing off some tension vibes and you haven’t been able to solve this with a conversation, it might be time to explore that and other signs your husband is falling out of love.
23. He Stopped Listening
Poor listening goes further than having a conversation. It is also about habits like forgetting things that you say to him, displaying dismissive body language, interrupting you when you speak, and watching TV or being glued to his phone when you seek his attention.
Some people, for one reason or another, are poor listeners but someone who loves you should respect you enough to give you undivided attention. It should concern you even more if he used to be a great listener and then just stopped.
24. He Doesn’t Defend You
Whether it is from abusive or disrespectful members of the family, friends, neighbors, or strangers, you should be able to count on your husband to stand up for you and defend you. In fact, the need to protect his partner or wife is said to be hard-wired in man’s DNA.
I didn’t say it is going to be easy for him to present a united front with you, especially where close family is concerned, but you should see effort and progress towards it.
If instead, he lets other people walk all over you, he doesn’t value you as a person, leave alone love you.
25. He Blatantly Says He is not in Love with you
Finally, you don’t have to keep looking for signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore because, at some point, he clearly says he doesn’t.
Whether it is in the heat of an argument, during a conversation, or just because he decided to rip off the band-aid, the point is that it is now out in the open.
What to Do When your Husband Doesn’t Love you Anymore
Dealing with the possibility that your marriage partner doesn’t love you anymore can be devastating especially if you have nothing but love for him.
Before throwing in the towel though, it is worth noting that your unhappy marriage is not a unique case. Many married couples fall in and out of love with each other and while some marriages don’t survive, others certainly do.
I tend to think that this is what the 20th-century American journalist and author, Mignon Maclaughlin, had in mind when she came up with the quote
‘A successful marriage requires falling in love many times — always with the same person.’
Nevertheless, everyone deserves a happy marriage and you can’t wait forever for a strained relationship to bounce back based on a quote. If the two of you even stand a chance, things cannot remain the same.
The tips below can help you figure out what to do next.
Trace Back to When things Started Going South
At times, it is easier to notice things happening elsewhere than in your own relationship. However, if you look closely, you can trace when the clear signs your husband could be drifting from you started.
This could be when little by little he stopped talking to you, started bailing out of the fun things you used to do together, or when your intimacy notched down.
You can then try to recall the emotions and feelings involved, possible triggers, and the impact on your marriage. This makes it easier for you to ascertain whether there’s a pattern, total change, or if he is going through a phase.
Have a Candid Talk with Your Husband
Considering that you could be undergoing strained communication in the marriage, how you invite your husband to this particular talk can make or break the outcome.
Experts in this field recommend that you use respectful language to invite him to talk. It helps to set a specific time that is convenient for both of you to avoid awkwardness or catching each other at a bad time.
During the conversation, ensure that you communicate your concerns in an open and honest way and also give your husband an opportunity to share his take on the state of your relationship.
The two of you can then decide on the next step in your relationship. If you decide to work on your marriage, you can spend time together and work out a strategy or engage a marriage counselor to help.
Work on Yourself
Working on yourself doesn’t by any means imply that you are to blame for the state of your relationship with your husband.
Still, marriage is the responsibility of both of you and while you might not have much control over what your husband feels about you, you do have control over the version of you you want to continue investing in your marriage.
This calls on you to up your self-love, confidence, and self-worth to make it harder for anyone, including your husband, to take you for granted. To work on yourself relationship-wise, you can get relationship advice on sites like Relationship Hero.
Think of it this way; if he doesn’t change his mind about you even after you work on yourself, at least you will have given it a try and you can walk away with dignity.
Conclusion
The above are possible signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. There could even be more that are not on my list but if you need help figuring this out, I assure you you will not need to look elsewhere.
As I mentioned earlier on, these are just red flags. The only way to find the whole truth would be to hear it from him. Once you do, it is up to you to figure out the next step. To give you something to get you started though, I have shared 3 key tips.
